Posts by The Fall Guy

15

Unbelievable!

by The Fall Guy in

witness: yes.

attorney: and what were you doing at that time?

witness: yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and

The Fall Guy

Thank you all! I'll go to bed now very happy that others have laughed along with me.

15

Unbelievable!

by The Fall Guy in

witness: yes.

attorney: and what were you doing at that time?

witness: yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and

How do court stenographers keep a straight face?
These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court" and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters who had the torment of staying straight-faced while the exchanges were taking place.
___________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
___________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
___________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th .
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
___________

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
___________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20. Very close to your IQ.
___________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
___________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th ?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid.
___________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
___________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
___________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
___________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
___________

ATTORNEY: ALL of your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you attend?
WITNESS: Oral.
___________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
___________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

9

What do you think?

by JRK in

jw
friends

if a decades-long apostate decides that they should marry a semi-active jw, what odds would you put on the viability of the marriage?

if not viable, how long before the shit would hit the fan?

jk.

The Fall Guy

Less than a month seems a bit generous. I'd give it until they wake up in the first morning after their wedding.

18

Even elders don’t know their beliefs

by Addison0998 in

i had a deep conversation with my elder father today about the bible.

first i talked to him about luke 16:19-31. the one where jesus makes this crazy illustration regarding the afterlife.

of course he had to look it up on the watchtower library to be spoon fed his beliefs.

The Fall Guy

(Galatians 1:9) "Whoever is declaring to you as good news something beyond what you accepted, let him [the GB] be accursed."

Millions of JW's have either gladly or reluctantly exchanged their original truths/beliefs for the "new lights" conjured up by whoever the latest governing body happens to be.

Isn't being "in the truth" today unrecognisable from what it was years ago!!!!

34

Active witnesses? Please help?

by Ahava in

hi,i'm lost and a little sad.

i actually like the jw faith.

some might call this faith cold, strict, dogmatic but they're just trying to follow rules and give back to god.

The Fall Guy

Welcome Ahava. If you'd like to read how JW doctrines actually oppose/lie about what the Bible says, PM me and I'll provide you with numerous examples of Bible versus literature teachings.

As someone who was once a zealous JW, they convinced me 100% that the governing body of JW's is definitely not being directed God.

4

The anointed ones and heaven..

by Canadian Sunshine in

if i am understanding correctly only 144,000 will go to heaven, to be with jesus and help rule?

these 144,000 are witnesses only.

there is over a million jw world wide, what happens to the rest of the faithful followers.

The Fall Guy

Canadian Sunshine - Isn't it totally logical that Christ, after having been given all of God Almighty's power & authority, would need the help of tens of thousands of J.W.'s to resurrected to heaven to help rule the universe? (Matthew 28:8: 1 Corinthians 15:24-28)

Especially when Revelation 5:10 clearly says (in the original Greek) that they will be upon the earth - not floating over it! (see the Kingdom Interlinear Translation of JW's for confirmation)

66

Overlapping Generations

by JRK in

jw
friends

i remember when that came out, my mother didn't catch it in the original article in the wt.

it was in one of the review "do you remember" thingies that she caught it.

she asked me if it means what she thought it meant.

The Fall Guy

Why hasn't there been a mass exodus? My closest friend in my last congregation sums it up: "Where else can we go?"

"Better the devil you know" attitude!

35

The Label Of "Apostate" And It's Effects

by pale.emperor in

in my psychology studies we've been examining the use of "labels" and how they influence peoples behaviour.

i sometimes wonder if the gb or their helpers know exactly what they're doing when it comes to psychological manipulation.. it's been observed that by labeling someone or something it changes your entire perception of that person or thing.

it colours it entirely, quite unfairly in some cases.

The Fall Guy

Pale Emperor - "I sometimes wonder if the GB or their helpers know exactly what they're doing when it comes to psychological manipulation."

Nope, but I am convinced that the real high-control group leaders - the faceless and nameless ones who in reality master the multi-billion dollar cult - have over the decades employed the services of individuals who advised/directed on the use of psychological techniques.

It's been said before - it's totally ludicrous to think that the 8 king-priests in Warwick (KP) could run a bath, let alone a billion dollar corporation.

Remember KP NUTS? Well that's who JW's have ruling them - 8 self-serving nuts!

10

My dental theory

by The Fall Guy in

jw
friends

while enjoying one of my favourite snacks the other day, (hula hoops) i suddenly had this thought; if ever a metal nut is hard to loosen with a wrench, usually a a couple of sharp hits with a hammer is enough to break the grip of whatever is holding it - usually rust.

similarly, crunching on foods which can impart small shockwaves to a capped tooth could have the same effect and cause the hardened dental cement to fracture and loosen the crown.

(cap).

The Fall Guy

While enjoying one of my favourite snacks the other day, (Hula Hoops) I suddenly had this thought; if ever a metal nut is hard to loosen with a wrench, usually a a couple of sharp hits with a hammer is enough to break the grip of whatever is holding it - usually rust. Similarly, crunching on foods which can impart small shockwaves to a capped tooth could have the same effect and cause the hardened dental cement to fracture and loosen the crown. (cap)

I Googled and found a site which warns against eating certain foods if you have capped teeth.

https://www.cavendental.com/blog/what-are-the-top-foods-to-avoid-with-a-dental-crown-in-place

Just a thought.

19

How do you feel about the elders?

by Lost in the fog in

oh dear, i recently made a comment about an elder being dogmatic.

and one of his best buddies sent me a wt article to help me realign my mind or something.

this is where reality separates from fantasy and fiction.

The Fall Guy

Elders? Men who are willing to sacrifice all traces of human decency and reasoning in order to keep their position of authority and the approval of their charlatan masters.

Try saying this to one of these wolves in sheep's clothing, and see if they are prepared to follow the Bible's counsel:

"Excuse me brother Elder, but I have to say that in all my years as a servant of Jehovah, [WTBTS] I've never met a single Elder who ever applied this Bible teaching to themselves" - ....Openly confess your sins to one another. (James 5:16)